


You, Me, and our Retrograde

by GrotesqueEnchantment



Series: You, Me, and the Lie Between Us [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Undercover!Rey, but happy ending!, some angst in the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6591409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrotesqueEnchantment/pseuds/GrotesqueEnchantment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is you.</p><p>---<br/>A continuation and final part of You, Me, and the Vending Machine", "You, Me, and the Broom Closet", and "You, Me, and the Truth".</p>
            </blockquote>





	You, Me, and our Retrograde

Rey wasn’t sure of the time but she knew she had to leave. Kylo Ren knew her true identity now and who knows what actions he’ll take. She walked slowly down the hallway, hoping that Poe would stumble upon her soon enough. She came to the end of the hallway and bit her lip. She couldn’t just wander around looking for him, she told him to meet her in front of her room.

She turned back towards her door, wondering if Poe was standing outside of it. A figure stood in front of it, hand raised slightly up. She could hear the gentle rasping of its knuckles on the door. She walked slowly back towards her room and stop a little ways away from the figure.

It held a helmet in the crook of its elbow but wasn’t as tall as the man she had come to know. She crept slowly up behind the figure and gently tapped its shoulder. The figure gasped quietly before turning to face her. She sighed when Poe’s eyes met hers.

“You scared me.” He hisses under his breath before Rey wraps her hand along his forearm.

“I’m sorry,” She whispers before pulling the pilot along. “I had to be sure it was you.” They walked slowly down the hallway together, checking corners when they came to them before proceeding. More than once they ducked away from patrols scouting the ship and Rey wondered if they were looking for her.

“I thought you said this was a good time to leave?” He questions when he’s sure that the patrols have passed. She shrugs her shoulders before moving along the wall. He follows suit before they’re stopped once again by passing ‘troopers.

“What are they looking for?” He whispers under his breath. His breath is warm against the back of her neck.

“We’ve been compromised.” She answers him and she can feel his head turn to look at her. She can feel his eyes scanning her face before he turns away and looks down the hallway. His composure is steel and she wonders how he got so good at doing this.

“Well,” He begins as they scoot along the wall. “That makes this much more fun.”

They stop and move in small intervals. More than once a patrol of Stormtroopers would pass, uniforms shifting as they jogged passed the hidden resistance members. Poe would question under his breath why they were running and she could hear the smirk on his lips when he did. She couldn’t help the small smile from crossing her face whenever he made a comment on the ‘troopers.

She wasn’t sure how long it took them but they finally arrived at the hangar Poe had been at earlier. The ‘troopers dotted the hangar and guarded as many transports as possible. Rey sighed and felt her shoulders fall. A hand came up and squeezed her shoulder gently. Rey turned her head and could see the small smile on Poe’s lips.

“There’s no reason for us to be out,” She whispers to him and he nods his head. She can feel the small smirk start to form on her lips. “So we’ll have to make a reason for being out.” He mimics her smirk before both of them begin to move.

They stand slowly before going to work on the panel next to them. Both aren’t sure what would be inside the panel but it was all the really had to go on. They huff silently to themselves when they move the heavy object down to the ground as quietly as possible. Once it’s down, Poe motions for Rey to get to work and she does. She wastes no time in ripping out the wiring that was inside, not caring about what it was she was pulling out.

Once she’s satisfied with what she’s ripped out, she motions for Poe to help her lift the panel back into place. They huff again to themselves as they move before it pops back into place. Rey rubs her hands together, a job well done if she’d say. That’d give them a reason to call out a technician, but not a reason to call out a mechanic. They kneel back down before moving along the wall and away from the broken panel.

“We need to get to a Fighter.” She whispers and Poe’s eyes go wide. He turns away from her, examining the Fighter’s closest to them. “They’ll call for me,” She begins and Poe’s head snaps back to her. “I’ll make a scene of getting the ‘troopers over and then you go and get into a Fighter. I’ll meet you as soon as I can.”

He nods silently before moving away from her. Soon enough, a small group of ‘troopers are surrounding the broken panel and they grunt when they move it away from the wall. They stare at it briefly and a few play with the broken wires. They know that this isn’t the common wire problem but besides that they have no clue. She can hear one call for a technician and she waits for a few moments before getting up to greet them.

“You called for me?” She asks and the ‘trooper motions to the broken panel. She acts surprised, eyebrows furrowing together as she fingers one of the wires. “Who did this?” She says and turns back to look at the ‘troopers. They all shrug before one speaks.

“Can you fix it?” He asks and Rey shrugs. She can feel their irritation at her reply but doesn’t pay it no mind.

“I can probably fix it, but I’m going to need your help.” She says and the ‘troopers exchange looks. “I’m going to have to work fast and I’m going to need you guys to hand me the tools.”

“But, we have orders-“One of the troopers begins before she cuts him off. She shoves the tools she found into his chest and his hands come upwards to grab the bottom of the box.

“Think your superiors are going to care when the whole ship explodes?” She hisses to them. They seem scared and Rey’s happy about it. The ship won’t actually explode but they don’t need to know that. She turns back towards the panel and begins working on it, turning every now and then to tell a ‘trooper to give her a tool. They work surprising well with her and she wonders briefly why they’re soldiers and not technicians.

Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Poe moving silently through the hanger. He avoids any sort of ‘trooper and slips away into a corridor. A TIE Fighter sits not far away from the corridor and Rey knows that’s where Poe went. She works fast after that and the ‘troopers with her can hardly keep up.

She motions for one last tool before she’s finished with the broken wiring. She doesn’t turn to look at the ‘trooper this time and the feel of their hand is different. She notices it but continues on with her work, fixing the last wire before turning to thank the ‘troopers.

It’s only one now and not a Stormtrooper.

He’s dressed in all black and wearing the helmet again. She stares at him for a moment, wide eyed and mouth gaping like a fish. Her heartbeat paces rapidly and the fear grabs at her again. She can feel the fight of flight instincts playing through her system, her legs shaking with the want to run. But she has to pretend nothing’s wrong, has to pretend that he’s just here.

“T-Thank you.” She stammers and he nods his head slowly. She goes to move away from him, towards the corridor that Poe disappeared into but is stopped when his hand grips her forearm. He pulls her away from the panel and away from the hanger. She tries to fight against him but can’t play up the show too much, people would know that she was the one that they were looking for.

They make their way down a hallway slowly, with his hand still gripping her forearm. The possibilities run through her head. He’s going to kill her. He’s going to take her to a prison cell. He’s going to hold her hostage with him, force her to learn about the Force. _He’s going to kill her_.

She holds back any sort of tears that want to fall, trying her best to have the air of defiance about her. She hopes that Poe will eventually realize that she wasn’t coming, hopes that he’ll abandon her and save himself. She knows he won’t but she hopes that maybe he’ll let his sense of self-preservation win this time.

The halls become familiar and Rey realizes that they’re walking back towards her room. They stop in front of her door and his grip on her forearm is released. He motions for her to put her code into the door and she does. The doors slide upwards without any problems and he pushes her into the small room.

She stumbles forward but catches herself before she can trip. She can hear the doors close behind him and doesn’t turn to face him. She stares at the small table on the far side of the room, examining her little plant. She can hear him move closer towards her but she’s frozen in spot. Not like she could do much anyway, he probably takes up the whole space of her room in width.

“It makes sense now,” He says and Rey still doesn’t turn to face him. “And yet, it doesn’t.” She can feel the confusion skitter across her features but she still won’t turn to face him. He sighs and moves even closer to her. She presses herself against the small table that holds the plant, hoping to be as far away from him as possible.

“You,” He begins and Rey can feel him staring into the back of her head. “You like Matt.”

Something pulls at her heart and her feet desperately want to move. Her body wants to turn her around, to face this creature, to look him in the eye, but her mind won’t let her. Instead, her fingers grip the small table, digging themselves into it to steady herself.

“I did.” She says with conviction. He moves closer to her still and can feel his hand move for her. She pushes her shoulder inwards and away from his grasp.

“Don’t touch me.” She hisses and the hand moves away from her again. She can hear the hissing of his helmet, can tell he’s placed it on the small mattress in the room.  

“Look at me.” He says and Rey shakes her head. “Look at me.” He demands and Rey shakes her head harder. His annoyance and anger whip around him but it only makes Rey want to defy him even more. She can hear him sigh, can tell he’s running his fingers through his hair.

“Please.”

It’s barely a whisper but it breaks any sort of defiance Rey had. She turns to face him slowly and his face visibly lights up but he does everything he can to stomp it out. They stare at each other like this for a moment, each looking to see if there is more then what is on the surface of the other.

“You can’t have feelings for Kylo Ren.” He says and it’s a fact. Rey nods slowly and tries to swallow around the sudden lump in her throat. “I can’t have feelings for you either...” And it trails and Rey knows what he’s left off. She knows he wants to implore her to allow him to train her, knows that they could _be_ something if she did. But he doesn’t ask, instead shakes his head to himself.

He comes closer to her, crows her space and pushes her even more into the small table. His hand comes up and strokes her cheek gently, the leather rough on her skin. She closes her eyes and leans into the touch before he moves his hand away. She watches him as his other hands comes and grips the fingers of the leather. He pulls it away from his fingers before throwing the glove by his helmet.

He moves his hand up again and strokes her face again. The feeling isn’t too much different, his fingers are calloused and rough but it feels nicer then the leather. His hand is warmer and smoother then the leather and she leans into the touch again. She can hear him suck in a breath when she does before pushing it all out of his lungs shakily. He moves his hand away from her and back to his side.

“In another life, maybe.” He says and Rey nods slowly. Her heart hurts but there isn’t much she can do. He said it himself, she can’t have feelings for him and he can’t have feelings for her. A small smile dances on his lips and his eyes are so sad. “I won’t stop you from leaving. This battle was not meant to be finished here.” He whispers and Rey nods along with him again. The happiness jumps through her veins at the thought, knowing he won’t hold her captive or hurt Poe.

He moves down and his breath brushes against her lips. Their eyes hold each other’s, searching for something that neither of them know. He pushes down, pressing his lips against hers for a brief moment before pulling away and returning to his full height.

“I look forward to seeing you again.” He whispers and she nods before reaching upwards and hooking her hand around the back of his neck. She brings him downwards and smashes her lips against his. She moves against him quickly, tongue running along his lips before he allows her in. His hands come to grip at her waist, holding her in place as she explores his mouth. He groans against her, pulling her even more into him. He lets her explode, enjoys the feeling of her.

She pulls away all too quickly for both of their tastes. They breathe together for a moment, chests rising in falling in unison before he releases his grip on her waist. He moves backwards away from her and to the side. He pushes his body against the wall before motioning towards the door.

“Go,” He says breathlessly. “Before I change my mind.” Rey almost wants him to change his mind, to stay with him for the rest of the night before leaving. But she knows that if she does that, then neither of them will be able to leave each other again. She nods slowly before moving past him. She punches a code into the panel in the wall again and the door slides upwards. She stops in the frame of the door and turns to face him.

“I look forward to seeing you again.” She mirrors what he said and a small smile plays on his lips. “Goodbye.”

* * *

 

It doesn’t take her long to sneak through the hallways until she’s back at the hanger. She’s not sure how long she had been gone but she can only hope that she hadn’t been gone long enough that Poe left without her. She sneaks back up towards the panel she helped break and fix earlier and she can see the TIE Fighter he had chosen still in its spot. She thanks whoever is listening before silently moving through the hanger and towards the Fighter.

She scares Poe out of his mind when she slips into the Fighter. He demands to know what happened but she doesn’t tell him, she only tells him that she’ll tell him when they’re safety off the ship. He nods before getting ready to leave.

“Have you ever flown one of these before?” She asks, mimicking his movements and pushing buttons and switches. He chuckles to himself before the wire holding the TIE Fighter in position retracts away from the Fighter.

“Only once before and it was not this smooth.”

* * *

 

They were almost shot down in Resistance space but that’s about all the bad times they had on their way back. When they touch down on the new base, there is a group of people to congratulate them on returning home. Finn is among them and he runs up to the two of them. He wraps Rey in his arms before lifting her up into the air. She squeals in happiness before he puts her back down and she properly hugs him back. He lets her go and does the same to Poe, who also shouts out in happiness of seeing his friend.

Finn fills them in on what they misses while they were off on their mission. It’s nothing too grand and Rey is glad. If something major had happened and neither of them were there, she wasn’t sure the Resistance could survive.

“Besides that, General Organa wants to see you.” Finn says and Rey can feel her stomach begin to twist into knots. Finn must’ve seen the shift in her attitude because he gently grips her shoulder. “It’ll be alright. She’s not upset that you’ve left the mission early.” Rey nods and gives Finn a light smile before moving past him and towards the command center.

Leia is leaned over a map, examining something that Rey knows to be important. Rey makes her way towards the General and Leia moves away from the map. She turns around and greets Rey. The smile is wonderful to see again but it doesn’t help diminish the disappointment Rey feels inside over not completing the mission. Leia envelopes Rey in a hug, squeezing her gently.

“It’s alright.” She says before pulling away. “Did they have suspicions of Resistance activity?” Leia asks before clearing her throat. Rey nods.

“I had suspicions that they were begin to question who I was.” She says and Kylo’s image comes to the forefront of her mind. “I did not want to jeopardize Poe and my cover so we left as soon as the suspicions seemed to be coming a reality.” Leia nods and moves back towards the map.

“I don’t want to do this to you so soon,” Leia begins and Rey moves to stand beside her. Leia is looking at a map of a planet that Rey doesn’t know the name of. “But I’ll have to send you out again soon.” Rey nods and Leia continues. “I believe they are building another base similar to Starkiller and I’ll need someone to go in and see what is going on.” Leia moves away from the map and Rey follows her.

“You and Poe will be sent there in two weeks to assess the situation.” Leia stops in front of a door and Rey stands beside her. “If you have an objection, I can send someone else.” A small smile plays on Leia’s lips. She’s worried about Rey but Rey won’t let her worry about her. She doesn’t need her to worry.

“I’m ready as soon as the mission is ready, General.” Leia nods and brings her hand up to grip Rey’s shoulder. She releases it before walking through the door. Rey stands there for a moment before making her way back towards her friends.

Poe accepts the mission, Finn declines it for both of them.

“You guys just got back!” He says while they’re eating together. The food isn’t much better than the food she got on the finalizer, but it still tastes legions better. “You can’t leave so soon.”

“We’ve got two weeks.” Rey says, food falling from her mouth. She swallows before continuing. “We’ll recuperate in that time and then be ready to go.” Poe nods along with what she’s saying. Finn crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Just,” He begins and looks between the two of them. “Be careful okay?”

* * *

 

The two weeks fly by and it makes Rey sad to leave Finn back at the base. She understand why he can’t come with them but she wants nothing more than to have him at their side. The three of them could get out of anything. She trusts Poe with everything she has but it’s odd to have their trio be down to two.

It’s smooth sailing once they get off the base. The planet they’re going to isn’t as heavily guarded and Rey wonders if it’s because the project is just beginning. Regardless, they’re able to use the TIE Fighter they stole to get onto the planet. They integrate themselves into the staff as smoothly as possible, with only a few hiccups here and there.

It’s well into two weeks of working on the station that a strange boredom sets into her. She likes the people that she’s working with, they’re all nice and willing to work with her but none of them really hold her attention for too long. They talk about things that she doesn’t know and isn’t all too interested in. It’s in a middle of a conversation that she realizes why.

She misses Matt. Or, well, the idea of him at least. She liked that he was a secret too, that he wasn’t who he said he was. She liked how similar they were before everything blew up in her face. She finds herself sighing as quietly to herself in the middle of the conversation, hoping that the other person didn’t hear it.

She really should get over it. It’s been well over a month at this point. They weren’t even a thing to begin with. Not really anyway. Even if she wanted them to be, he wouldn’t have it. Well, he would but not in the way she wanted.

She excuses herself from the conversation she was having with her coworker. Makes up a lie about being tired and hungry, well it’s the partial truth. She is tired. They wave her goodbye and she makes her way to the mess hall.

The same bland food again and it makes Rey miss the Resistance base. The food wasn’t much better but at least they attempted to add some sort of spice. Regardless, she shovels it down in an attempt to fill her stomach and so it can’t revolt against her between bites. The plate is empty in a few minutes and she discards of it properly before heading back towards her room.

She had finished all her work for the day. She’s not entirely sure what the time is and isn’t set out to figure it out. Here it’s sleep, wake up, do your job, eat, and sleep again. Repeat the cycle until the mission is over. Unlike the _Finalizer_ , workers are out at all times of the day trying to finish this new project as soon as possible.

She rounds a corner but stops when she hears quiet grunting behind her. She thinks for a moment to just continue on, to go back to her room and sleep away her troubles but decides to see what’s making the noise.

She can barely make out a mess of blond hair and a shiny vest kneeling next to a vending machine. Her blood pounds through her ears at the sight, mind dead set on the fact that it _can’t be it just can’t._ But her feet move on their own, towards the familiar figure until she’s only a few steps away from him. He hasn’t turned to look at her, only continues to pull at his hand that’s caught in the vending machine.

It’s him and Rey unconsciously wonders why. But the sight of him stops any sort of thought, only allows for a wide smile to break across her face. Her heart feels light and full and it’s something that’s been missing in the month that he’s been away. She clears her throat quietly before chuckling under her breath.

“Impressive, Matt.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's the end! Thank you all for reading this series and I hope you enjoyed! I plan to post more Matt/Rey fics but they just won't be apart of this series. :)
> 
> So we have a happy ending! I like to think that they both decided that this was their other life and to enjoy eachother while they could.
> 
> I want to thank the song "Retrograde" by James Blake for inspring me to write one last part with a happy ending.
> 
>  
> 
> [Come chat with me on tumblr!](http://helpilikereylo.tumblr.com/)


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